Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
