so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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