After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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