found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
