Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
