my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
