Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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