We're facebook friends in real life
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it's like iHOP with fire
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
