yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
