after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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