I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
