im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it was like eating out sand paper
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
