Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
