john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
