Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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