You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize