Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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