come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think I just sharted jello shots
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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