Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize