Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I look better un-naked...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
