Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it was like his penis was on wheels.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
