me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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