your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't put those talents on a resume
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
