We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize