She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am naked and annoyed.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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