Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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