he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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