I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
