Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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