I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
