he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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