weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
