addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
