I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
