How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize