hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
