Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
