Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
its not stalking. its research.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?