My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.