oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm determined to sit on that face.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.