try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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