I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
