I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.