i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
