You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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