Your tits are I can't wait for
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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