I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
