I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
