flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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