If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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