I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
