i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Panties = found
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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