Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
