arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize