Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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