ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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