Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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