I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
