Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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