I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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