your parents love me but you hate me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
