i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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