We won't sleep together?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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