I have demons in me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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