I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
