you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
